Six years is a long time.  Time can heal wounds, but realistically the wounds of death are never completely heal.  As my good friend says, “You feel like you have a load of bricks on your chest and that weight gets heavy but it never completely goes away.  Sometimes it even gets heavier for no reason.”  My grandma passed away six years ago today on what was Mother’s Day that year.  I distinctly remember waking up to the call late at night and knowing what would be on the other end.  She was 90, and she had been sick for awhile.  It is never an easy thing thought knowing that door is closed to that person you once knew and loved.  

I have wonderful memories of my grandma whether it be from growing up with family get togethers at holidays or going to bingo with her and just visiting her.  When I was younger I would spend the night there and we would play cards and watch TV.  I would pretend to be a figure skater in her living room and she would feed me a TV dinner because that was something my mom never would (she always cooked lol).  My grandma made the best dinner rolls and my mom still makes them to this day.  We barely ever won at bingo or the rip off tickets but she would always give it a try to see if we could be lucky some day.  All the memories of my grandma truly make me smile.  She was everything that you could ask for in a grandma.  She was the only grandparent I even knew so she was even more special to me.  She didn’t have a lot, but she would make sure that everyone had something on their birthdays and holidays.  

And even to this day when I think about my grandma I smile, but I also get tears in my eyes because I know I can never see her again.  There is no doubt about the fact that she lived a long, great life.  She was one of the most modern older people I know with her beliefs.  She had wisdom for ages and she loved with her full heart no matter what.  There’s a lot you can learn from a woman so great.  There’s even more you can learn from having a mother that descended from my grandma.  🙂

With mother’s day coming up I know it is not easy for my own mother.  She misses her mom and rightfully so.  It’s the pain that never goes away that makes it the hardest thing to bare.  I will tell you one thing though, my mother is incredibly strong and loving just like her mother so I guess that’s where I get it from.  There’s no doubt about the fact that I have a totally amazing family whom I love their quarks.  My mom is no exception to that, and I am glad to be her daughter.  

Six years is a long time, but it seems even longer when you think about the time in the future that I am without my grandma.  I am blessed to have a mother that is my rock and my side kick.  I get her to do things she normally wouldn’t.  Losing someone is never easy.  This is really why you need to live and not just exist.  Go beyond just existing.  Look at what you do and cherish every moment.  You never know when it could be someone’s last day.

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