I named this specific post because I am literally on the struggle bus right now but I don’t want to give into Mr. Sandman quite yet.   It has occurred to me lately that many people see me as a very positive person who doesn’t dwell on things that go wrong or just always find the positive in the situation that I am.  I find this very funny for many reasons, but I’m very flattered as well.  It’s not every day that someone sees you in a positive light themselves.  

It was not the first time I’ve heard this from more than one person, this positive light, this quality that everyone seems to want.  If you would have taken a snapshot of my life about 1.5-2 years ago, though, you may have seen a very dark shadow, a grey cloud hovering over my everyday life which is why this is so amusing to me.  I was not always the person that I am today, but I think that’s what makes us all great.  We all overcome struggles whether it be daily or large struggles that put us back a little bit in life.  Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but we can make it closer to that if we try to find the good parts in each thing.

Take for instance my string of ear infections.  I complain about them a lot, they are not something that is fun by any means and to be quite frankly, if I had a dollar for every time that I pondered a thought about cutting my ear off, even though so irrational, I would be a millionaire.  This latest, if confirmed by the doctor hopefully tomorrow, makes 9.  Nine ear infections since November of 2012.  That’s a lot of ear infections.  Why?  I still don’t know, but I’m hoping with a new doctor (who I actually get to see!) that we can find some sort of solution.  Soooooo what’s the positive in that?  Well first of all, I am fortunate enough to be able to go to a doctor, even though it does cost me an arm and a leg, literally.  I can get help for what I need.  Secondly, I do not struggle with them everyday.  I’d be lying if I said I had ear problems every single day.

And guess what?  I’m not going to sit around and mope about it.  If there is anything that you know about me, it’s that I’m a busy girl.  This week I’m volunteering at the Children’s Institute at the Autism Conference and I love it.  I’m beat, I’m so tired that every time I’ve seen my friends this week they tell me I look tired, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m so excited for my internship because I just can’t wait to be in the school setting working with actual kids who need help.  This ear infection isn’t going to get me down, I’m going about my everyday life just as I would, but I’m not neglecting the fact that I need to take care of my ears as well.

Being positive really has to come from previous experiences.  You become a better person because of the things you overcome.  Having that fighting spirit keeps you going and allows you to have something to live for and something to hold on to.  I can’t say that every situation is the same or can be turned around so easily, but we owe it to ourselves to make sure that we continue to stay positive in hopes that things will get better even though it may not seem like things are heading in that direction.

Not that I am a preacher of any sort, but I think that’s the way God wants us to be.  Many people use the phrase “give it to god” when making a tough decision or waiting for an answer, and I think that is a good way to go because I think it also allows you to take a step back and see that not everything is doomed and that there is a higher power out there on your side.

We don’t all have everyday of our lives work out how we plan, if that happened we would all be miserable if anything ever went wrong, it’s in the resiliency of being able to bounce back from our dark moments that we end up in the light.  It’s in our shadows that we realize who is there for us and how we can get back to being ourselves.  From a first hand account, it’s not easy, but man is it sure worth it.