It feels like forever since I have been able to sit down and actually type an update of anything that’s going on in this crazy life.  Frustration and inspiration may be two words that really describe what has been at play these past few months.  In January I had an MRI which at the time was a blessing and I was so excited to see the results until I received a notice in the mail that the procedure had been denied after countless PT sessions and a plateau of results for my back.  That day I was filled with angst and hopefulness as I wondered how I was going to afford this expensive study that was done.  I went to bed after saying my prayers and in the morning I had another appt with the doctor to talk about results so I asked in which case I found out the study had indeed been approved but the paper trial was behind.  I ended up paying a whole $5.82 for the MRI.  Thank goodness for good health insurance.  

The MRI showed what the doctor thought…bulging disk and a slight tear.  She is hopeful that things will go back to where they need to be in time with strengthening exercises but the issue was that a lot of the exercises hurt to do in my current state so it was determined that a lumbar epidural steroid injection would be the way to go.  Okay, give me the shot.  Appointment was set for January 25th which I wasn’t too keen on because it was still three weeks ago and three weeks of more pain, but whatever.  Two weeks pass and I get a phone call that the doctor will need to reschedule my procedure as he is teaching a class that day.  Okay, now that’s a set back to February 7th.  Another two weeks of waiting and pain.  

February 6th rolls around and I get a call that they again are canceling my shot, but this time it is not their fault.  A winter storm came around and caused all satellite offices to close down.  So I call back on Thursday to see what I can do to reschedule.  This time they tell me March 15th.  I am beyond frustrated at this point, and I turned to looking into other facilities and all I found was a lot of dead ends.  It would so happen though that in the afternoon the scheduler would call and I could get in for Wednesday, the 14th.  Today!

Today of course is Valentine’s Day which in my eyes is all about being able to spend time with those you love.  This morning before I left I was greeted at my door by the most loving man that I know with goodies and knowing that I was about to set out to get an injection was icing on the cake.  My dad drove me over to State College and it was such a production for such a little procedure but the doctor said that it went very well.  My leg hurt a little more than usual but he assured me that is a good thing because it means he got to where he needed to and by Friday I should be feeling some relief.  I can’t wait to just be able to even walk without feeling pain.  I think seriously that I was beginning to forget what no pain felt like and at the same time beginning to dull my pain by allowing my brain to shut it out.  I’m still in a little pain, but I am hopeful that Friday will come and it will be a new day to start and rebuild myself.  

That’s where the whole inspiration comes into play.  It’s a perfect day to be Valentine’s Day, my injection day and also Ash Wednesday because that is when I start my 40 days of positivity on my Instagram.  Everyday I post something positive to share throughout lent.  It’s my way of doing something different and not just giving up something.  

I’m hopeful for the future.  I’m excited to share Valentines Day with the man I love.  I’m grateful that I can walk and go for my goals.  There are so many things to be thankful for, and I’m filled with inspiration, positivity, and hopefulness that the next few months and beyond will be great!